Parent Connection

I was sitting in a local eatery sipping on sweet tea while waiting for my dear wife to join me. As I was studying the menu, some sounds off to the side gained my attention.

"I spy something..."

Remember that kids' game from decades past? I look up to see a group of folks sitting at the table, enjoying the company of each other as they waited for supper to arrive. It wasn't just the adults enjoying each other, either.

However, there was something missing from this picture. You see, there were no iPods, hand held video games, or personal DVD players plugged into the ears of any of the children. What wasn't missing? That would be the big smiles, soft laughter, and conversation flowing as easily as syrup over pancakes. Not only were the kids having a good time, but the adults were talking and relaxing as easily as if they were out with no kids at all.

I can hear some of you now. "Here we go again. Mr. Anti-iPod for kids! He just doesn't want children to have any fun." Actually, quite the opposite is true. It's just that I think kids can have fun without being tuned out from each other while tuned in to some battery-operated device 24/7.

Children with or without a personal entertainment device in hand is the little picture in today's column. The big picture is that many of today's Millennium Parents are cheating their kids out of needed social skills by not putting their foot down when it comes to appropriate interpersonal interactions.

Why do I say cheating? In order for our children, ‘tweens and teens to maintain true friendships, they must have real conversation together. I'm not saying that kids can never pause to text message a friend, listen to music, or play video games together. What I am saying is that our kids do not need to become so dependent on entertainment devices that they are miserable just hanging out with friends.

Why is it, then, that so many parents don't put their foot down when kids tune into themselves instead of those around them? I think it's the same reason dad lets his three small children park in front of TV watching cartoons for five hours on Saturday morning while mom is off shopping. It's easier, and it takes effort to turn off TV and find fun, interactive things to do with the kids all morning.

Perhaps some parents give in to avoid the conflict, but this comes with a cost. Our children are learning to have no tolerance for anything that is not stimulating or entertaining. Let's stop cheating our kids out of meaningful interpersonal interactions and true friendships just because it's easier. Take the time to teach and insist upon real conversation within the family. This will lead to better interpersonal skills with others. What I witnessed that evening in the restaurant was not kids having to tolerate each other because there was nothing better to do. They were enjoying each other and believe it or not, your kids can learn to do the same.

You can e-mail Bryan Greeson at parentconnection@hotmail.com.